Eep!

It's been over two months since I updated. My bad!

The honest truth is, there's nothing to report. I haven't gained, I haven't lost. I'm just sitting here fluctuating the same five pounds from week to week, depending on my cycle. My clothes are all fitting just fine, other than the pair of cheap jeggings that has a split in the thigh seam. Ugh.

I have been splurging a little bit more often, which I know isn't good, but since deprivation wasn't making me lose anything, I decided to relax a little. Not, you know, go wild, or anything. But enjoy the winter Starbucks flavors when I'm out with friends. Since that doesn't happen very often, I'm safe from over indulging but you know, I don't feel as restrictive or guilty when I do indulge. And since I've given myself permission, I don't really crave it all that much. AND, I can say no more easily to other things, like fast food cravings since it's not a hard no or a "shouldn't eat". I can talk myself out of it and not be grumpy about it. Giving myself permission to indulge makes me really examine if it's something that I really want. And if I decide it is, I can eat it without guilt. But if I decide I'm not just DYING to have it, I can walk away from it (or go home without it) and not feel deprived or anxious or upset.

The human brain is a tricky weirdo, for sure.

Anyway, with Thanksgiving and Christmas coming up, I know there's going to be a lot more opportunity to indulge than usual. But no stress. Just relax, eat the things I love and try to practice moderation--but no guilt if I go back for a second helping of Granny's delicious dressing. ;-)

Maybe after the new year I will have some positive news. I am slowly but surely getting back into counting my steps, something I had put on hold during the blisteringly hot summer months. I can walk way easier in the cold than I can in the hot. The hardest part is reminding myself to do it and making it into a habit again.