So, the scale tricked me. I actually DID lose two pounds last week. Just those pesky empty fat cells holding on to water and finally let it go, I guess. At least, that what the scale told me this morning. Either way, I'll take it.
In other news, I finally broke down and bought two new pair of smaller pants. I really wanted to wait another ten pounds to make it really worth it but at least one pair of my old, smaller pants was getting so big on me that they were starting to fall off a bit and at least two people commented on it. (This is my life now. Where people think it's okay to criticize my wardrobe under the guise of "encouraging" or "complimenting" my weight loss. le sigh)
It's really amazing to me how some people won't say a THING about it even if they have noticed...they might talk to one of my friends about it or ask my mom but they don't say anything to my face about it. Which is okay with me, actually. I appreciate the tact.
Then there are some people who have commented on it even before I actually started really losing and say something EVERY DAMN TIME THEY SEE ME. Which, you'd think would be nice but it gets old really fast, hearing it from the same two or three people every time I see them. It feels insincere, actually. And also, I'm like, Hi. I'm still a person with interests beyond weight. In fact, I'd really rather NOT talk about my weight.
My friends don't really say anything unless I wear something new that kinda shows it off a little and then it's more a gentle teasing, like, "Girl, you getting skinny" or, "Hey now, Miss Slim and Trim" which we all know isn't true yet. I've got a LOOOOOONG way to go before I'm skinny but we laugh and then WBF is good about following up with, "But no, really. That blouse really shows off you're new shape," which is a really nice compliment.
Just now I had a sorta friend look at me in amazement and tell me that "It's working. I can see it in your pretty face. Keep at it! You're doing great!" and then she hugged me, which is awkward because I'm not really a hugger, but it was a not terrible compliment and encouragement.
But THEN there are those who comment on it and then ask me what I'm doing to lose. Those are the worst because they're either asking because they're hoping I have some miracle cure or because they want to criticize what I'm doing. I give them the general response of, watching carbs and portion sizes, drinking lots of water, and walking as much as I'm able to. Which is true. They don't need to know about the blogging/journaling or the weekly evaluation of what I'm eating or how as I get used to eating smaller portions the less I even want larger portions. They don't need to know all the other activities or my Coke agreements with myself or that I still sneak a cookie or a brownie with no real guilt. I ate a delicious, spicy cheeseburger this weekend and have zero regrets because it was delicious and I drank water with it. I followed it up yesterday with a healthy grilled chicken harvest salad from Wendy's. I even ate it with the vinaigrette that comes with it instead of subbing it out for ranch or some other creaming fattening dressing. And I LIKED IT.
Anyway, sorry to get off on that tangent. Back to the pants.
Fortunately, Walmart's new clothing lines are fairly inexpensive so I won't feel TERRIBLE if I have to replace them again in a couple of months. And they're really well cut and comfortable pants. I've discovered that black jeggings make my legs look slimmer, are super comfy, and disguise my large thighs so that's one of the pants I bought. Regular denim colored jeggings hide nothing so they're going back. And one pair of denim pants I bought had to go back because even at the smaller size they were a little too big. The other pair of pants I bought and kept are a dark gray and look super professional.
As for body perception, I don't really trust my eyes because when I'm at home and studying my naked shape in the mirror, I can't really see much change. I still have a belly that sticks out. I still have major thighs, flabby arms, and a big ol' butt. But then when I'm at work, wearing smaller, more flattering clothes, I do see the change in my shape. That my belly doesn't poke out quite as far, even when I don't have my abs pulled in. And my legs really do look a tad slimmer, even with the major thighs.
I guess the clothes mask and flatter all the stark imperfections I see when I'm naked. Plus, it's a major mood boost when I put on something and realize that it's baggy when just last month it was a little snug. Like my sleep pants. When I first sized down into my old clothes, my sleep pants were just a touch snug in the butt and lower belly area. Now they slide down a lot and look ridiculous and it makes me do a happy dance every time I catch sight of my reflection while wearing them because they are an undeniable physical manifestation of actual real loss. The scales and even the measuring tape are both fickle but clothes you're used to wearing? Clothes never lie.
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