Okay, this week has been a challenge. Not gonna lie. It's been a weird week all the way around in different ways but it's all affected my eating habits. Not entirely in a terrible way but just in a way that I don't feel all that good about.
Saturday I treated my sister to an early birthday lunch at our favorite diner and I while I did get the one fried catfish filet instead of the two I used to get, I still felt a little guilty about it. But I did get water instead of tea or Coke, so WIN on that. But then we went back to my house and ate crème brule oreos (offbrand oreos, anyway) and I drank a small glass of Dr. Pepper which I had bought because it's her favorite beverage.
Sunday I just lost my ever-lovin' mind and got a take out plate from the Chinese buffet. I did get a lot of sushi but I also got a lot of seseme chicken, egg rolls, and rangoons. *facepalm* I did split it up and ate half for lunch and half for supper so I didn't eat a huge portion at either meal but unhealthy food is unhealthy all the time so I felt really crappy about that decision. I did have an ulterior motive for choosing it but it's a little TMI so you may not want to know. Vague version: I'm taking Iron supplements and Chinese normally has a particular gastrointestinal effect on me that would have been useful. But it didn't work this time.
Then Monday, I fell into an old habit and let my friends twist my arm into going to Burger King. I didn't really even want to eat it but I knew my WBF really wanted it and wouldn't go if I didn't and would be disappointed so I caved and went. I got the whopper Jr. and onion rings and a small Coke which I filled mostly with ice to minimize the portion and didn't get a refill...so I did the best I could to not completely indulge because I hate wasting a treat on something I didn't really want to eat. For supper, I ate a peanut butter sandwich on multigrain bread with a handful of Doritos for supper. Balance?
Tuesday was my sister's actual birthday and I baked her a cake and our mother treated us all to lunch at a Mexican restaurant. I ate two quesadillas and a bunch of chips. But I did get water instead of tea or Coke...small wins? I ate one small slice of birthday cake and didn't eat supper. I was still full from lunch, to be honest.
Wednesday I was pretty much back on track. I ate my usual homemade meals. I did screw up and overcook my supper, though so my supper got messed up and my lunch the next day did, as well. But I made do with what I had instead of going out for lunch that next day and the rest of this week I'm getting back on track.
I have achieved 10,000 or more steps three days this week, so I feel like that balances out some of my previous not so great food choices. I feel exhausted and my foot is screaming bloody murder but mentally I feel great about it. It was a huge mood boost to shake me loose from the dip I'd taken with the food fails. And basically I feel like I will be able to stay on track from here on out.
I'm trying not to beat myself up too hard over the food fails because I know it's just a part of life. And really, the only thing I truly regret is the Chinese because it wasn't an actual treat and it wasn't part of any celebration. It feels like me slipping into old habits which I just don't ever want to do. I realize that with my history and my food issues I have to stay vigilant. I don't want to be too hard on myself, but I also can't afford to be too easy on myself. It's giving myself a pass on bad choices that got me to where I'm at and why I have to work so hard to change my habits.
I have not lost any weight this week but because I reached the 25lbs loss last week and because I also feel like my Iron supplement side effects are messing with my weight, I'm not stressing too much about it. My clothes still feel loose and getting looser every week so I'm not giving the scale too much power over me and my feelings.
So that's where I'm at right now. Trying to stay on track and not obsess either way.
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