Potato Chips Are Crack

Impulse buys, man.

So, I was "good" and didn't go out to eat after church Sunday like I've been in the habit of doing for a while now. Granted, my usual go-to Sunday lunch is an apple pecan salad from Wendy's for a grand total of 450 calories (and is delicious!) but I'm trying to save money, also. So, instead, I stopped by the grocery store to pick up a couple of items the other store had been out of Saturday when I'd done the bulk of my grocery shopping.

Normally, I avoid the chip aisle like the plague because they (much like chocolate!) are my kryptonite but the store I went into Sunday had a center aisle display of Lay's and, well, the flavor they were promoting was jalapeno popper and long story short, I ate half the bag on the way home.

Not gonna lie, I don't even really regret it because PMS salt cravings are a real thing AND I haven't had potato chips in a LONG while. Also, the jalapeno popper Lay's are amazeballs.

That was the "worst" of my eating over the weekend, though. I made vegetarian chili (not because I'm going vegetarian, but because I couldn't afford turkey burger this week) and ate on it twice. I bought ingredients for a hack of the Wendy's salads I love (which is why I couldn't afford turkey burger this week) and ate that twice and prepped two more salads for lunch this week which also saved me from caving and going out for lunch with WBF who texted me last night wanting to eat out today. Knowing that I had something delicious already prepped and ready made it easy to say, "Not today, Satan...err...WBF." haha

I also bought two new (sized down) shirts and a fitted denim jacket which makes me feel bomb, so there's some motivation to just say no to eating out this week.

Cause you see, kids. The random bag of potato chips isn't my downfall. It's never good to binge, but that's not my real problem. My real problem right now is the number of times in a week that I eat out. Not good for my budget, DEFINITELY not good for my body. I love eating out. I really do. Chick-fil-A, Panda Express, delis, soul food blue plate restaurants, fast food breakfasts, fried everything, Pizza Hut/Dominos, fried chicken...I love it all. I love to cook, sure, but I love to eat out more.

BUT, just like last year when I had to figure out how to give up sugary lattes and daily Cokes, I'm having to figure out how to cut back/cut out a big part of how much I've been eating out lately. We're talking twice on the weekends (breakfast Saturday, lunch Sunday) and two to three times during the week! And I can't even really blame WBF because at least once last week was me going to Chick-fil-A after work just because I freaking wanted to. It's easy to say, "Oh, WBF loves to eat out and twists my arm and I can't say no" but that's not the whole truth. It is a real thing--at least once or twice a week she's wanting to go eat somewhere, but she's not the whole thing. I am the whole thing. I am not good at talking myself out of eating out. I'm like the Ariana Grande song "7 Rings" except with food instead of stuff. I see, I like it, I want it, I eat it. haha

I'm working on it, though. I'm working on my thoughts about food and trying to change my relationship with it. I have to think hard to remember how I ate/drank when I was 50 lbs or more heavier. Ya'll, when I weighed 285lbs three or four years ago, you know those buy one get on for a $1 deals at McDonald's? Yeah, I'd buy that and eat BOTH plus fries and a drink. or I'd buy a medium pizza and eat the whole thing AND wings. I beat myself up over the tiniest things now but sometimes it's good for me to look back at my old  habits and remind myself that not only has my weight come a long way since then but my eating habits have, too. And while I don't want to offer myself too much grace--I have to stay vigilant so as not to slip back into old habits--but I need to offer myself SOME grace in knowing that I have changed my thoughts and my habits for the better and if I did it back then, I can continue to do it now. And one day, maybe one day I'll have a healthy relationship with food AND a healthy body.

But potato chips, man. They are CRACK. Crunchy, savory, delicious crack.