Just two pounds from having lost 25lbs since June. Just two!! If you'd asked me in June if I thought it possible, I'd had shrugged and said prolly not.
Beyond that loss, though, I'm just learning so much about myself. What I'm capable of. What food means to me and what food SHOULD mean to me. How to change the emotions and baggage surrounding my relationship with food. I'm eating healthier than I ever have. I'm cooking more consistently. I'm eating veggies more consistently. Asparagus, avocado, brussels sprouts, all the colors of belle peppers, sweet potatoes, zucchini, onions, the occasional squash, mushrooms...I know there's lots more I need to add but I feel confident that this is a good start.
I do eat beef once a week, twice a week if I have more beef in my freezer than chicken, but I try to eat mostly chicken and turkey with a can of tuna in the mix somewhere in the week. I also occasionally buy a can of crab for low carb crab cakes.
I also realize that there are still places I need to clean up. I'm still working on cutting way back on the amount of coffee with half and half. I need to cut out coffee while I'm taking iron supplements, anyway, so perhaps that will be the motivation I need. ;-)
One of the weirdest things that is happening is if I eat a slightly larger meal at lunch I am not hungry at supper time. This is good, I think, but frustrating, too. If I'm not hungry for supper I still have to cook during the week so that I have something to eat at lunch the next day. The last thing I want to do is fall back in to the cycle of carrying things I hate to eat because that opens me back up to the trap of eating out all the time. But if I do go ahead and cook, I usually talk myself into eating anyway, even if I'm not hungry which isn't good, either. I'm coming to terms with the realization that I ONLY need to eat when I'm hungry and I really want to establish that habit. More than that, if I eat when I'm not hungry, it makes me pretty miserable these days. Like, physically miserable. Gotta work on figuring this one out. The obvious answer, of course, is to not eat so much at lunch. Somedays that works out fine. Other days I eat what I think is a small portion but it keeps me full past supper time.
One of the other frustrating aspects of that is that it throws off my meal plans which messes up the groceries I bought which is sometimes wasteful. Like, last week. There were a couple of nights I wasn't hungry and I cooked and didn't eat which meant I had an extra meal which is great, of course, but it also meant that I didn't have to cook one night and the veggies I bought to go with the meal I skipped went bad before I could use them! I hate wasting food/groceries because it also wastes money.
Other than food, another thing I'm discovering is that I no longer like a lot of the clothes I had back when I last lost weight...AND good problem to have, some of those clothes outgrew me before I even had a chance to try to wear them. But I don't want to invest in any clothes right now in hopes of losing more weight. I know I have a long way to go but I don't want to just quit here. I want to keep going. Keep moving. Keep losing. I want to save what little extra money I can sometimes scrape together so that I can buy a couple of key pieces when I absolutely can't keep my current pants up.
I hadn't really realized how much my style has changed since the last time I was this weight...12 years ago. I no longer like boxy blouses and loose legged pants. I prefer more fitted cloths now...mostly, I think, because I've figured out that fitted clothes make you look smaller while loose clothing makes you appear bigger than you are. Also, I like dressing a little "younger" than I did back when I was actually a lot younger. haha All of this is, of course, just another reminder to me of how much I've changed and grown.
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