Still on track...

And one pound away from 25lbs lost! And, more of my clothes are outgrowing me aka, I already need new pants. (which means I also need money for new pants. womp womp)

You know, the best and greatest thing about all of this, this time around...beside the fact that I feel as though I've had an actual mind/heart/body/soul commitment to getting healthy...is, I don't feel miserable or deprived! I enjoy the strength training I'm doing and don't dread like I have other activities in the past. Other than the occasional dizziness from the anemia and some inner ear/sinus stuff, I feel better than I ever have. I don't stay hungry all the time. I don't feel deprived. I don't feel as though I'm being punished. I feel satisfied and happy. I feel stronger. Confident.

What I'm learning is, there are two key components to getting healthy. (*Disclaimer: These are my personal observations only. I am not a health care professional.)

1) It's all in your mindset.

Getting your mind right is 50% of the battle of any goal you have in life, but in weight loss and health goals, especially. If you decide that it's hard and it's punishment and it's frustrating it's going to BE all those things and you will ultimately fail. I can't tell you how many times over my life I approached weight loss and health with the mindset that it was too hard. It was too miserable. Or that it was temporary. I didn't want to give up certain things. I thought it meant being miserable and hungry and not having any fun.

This time, though, with the threat of diabetes I decided that my health and my future are worth the sacrifices. I realized that there is nothing I enjoy eating or drinking so much that it's worth destroying my health and future for. I look at it not as a punishment or deprivation but rather as a gift I'm giving myself. Breaking free of those bondages is so incredibly EXCITING. Looking at a white chocolate mocha with contempt rather than longing, realizing that it was a huge culprit in keeping me enslaved AND dragging my health through the mud. I don't even crave them anymore. And that, my friends, is amazing.

2.) Not depriving yourself.

I feel like I actually eat better and more now than I ever did when I was eating unhealthy! I cook 90% of the meals I eat now and 80% of what I cook is in a healthy and whole way. I have never really cared for processed/boxed meals anyway (other than the tomato basil penne Hamburger Helper. le sigh) so I cook with fresh chicken, beef, and turkey burger and incorporate veggies in ways that I really enjoy!

Teriyaki chicken kabobs (chicken, onion, bell peppers and pineapple with teriyaki glaze), steak fajitas, zucchini crab/tuna cakes, turkey meatloaf with sweet potatoes, turkey burgers on multi-grain bread with sweet potato "fries" (baked, not fried), turkey burger tacos with avocado and tomatoes, avocado toast on multigrain English muffins, jalapeno popper chicken, sautéed brussels sprouts, roasted asparagus (sometimes wrapped in bacon, sometimes not), turkey sloppy joes on sweet potatoes instead of bread, chicken or tuna salad on multigrain crackers, eggs with a sprinkle of cheese and a couple of slices of bacon, chicken or steak stir fry, apples with peanut butter, Kind protein and fiber bars, peanut butter on multigrain crackers...and I still eat chocolate!! A tablespoon of chocolate chips or, as is the case this week, I bought one of the king size Mr. Goodbars and am eating one small square after supper. Not a row of sections, but one small little rectangular section. I've been eating on it since last Friday night and I'll have enough sections to get me through until Saturday.

I still eat ice cream at birthday parties. I still go out with my friends and I don't always get a salad.

For instance, I went to an "Italian" (Italian is in quotes because it's also Greek and and also serves hamburgers and chicken tenders) place with a group of friends last week and I got the gyro plate (gyro meat with pita bread and a Greek salad) with a side of spaghetti and water. I ate half of the gyro/pita, most of the salad and took the spaghetti and the rest of the gyro meat and pita home for lunch the next day. I also split a tiramisu with a friend and ate a small bite of spanakopita and some calamari! And it. was. AWESOME. And I still lost a pound last week. Because it was ONE night out in a week of otherwise mindful portions of healthy, home cooked food. And other than the tiramisu and calamari, I chose my meal out wisely, in the low carb sense. But I can't regret the tiramisu because it was delicious and satisfied that craving.

In the past, that meal would have been my downfall and I'd have continued to eat crap and beaten myself up for days. Instead, I ate what I enjoyed because I knew it was an actual TREAT and it was ONE NIGHT and it was WORTH it because we had fun and enjoyed ourselves.

The last time I lost a significant amount of weight in 2006 I did it primarily with Slimfast, salads, and working out with Denise Austin. Not a sustainable way of losing weight, and not entirely healthy. After I stopped drinking Slimfast, I gained back 15lbs of the 40lbs I'd lost, almost over night. I did manage to maintain the other 25lbs I'd lost for about five or six years before stress and depression reared their ugly heads and I let them take over my health.

You have to set your mind right that this is a lifestyle, not a diet. And being a lifestyle, you have to be realistic in knowing that you are allowed to enjoy what you eat and that everything is good in moderation.  Don't eat out every day but when your friends go out mid-week and ask you to go too? Go! And enjoy it! And get right back to your healthy, mindful eating the next morning with no regrets.

And for pity's sake, don't starve yourself! Eat what you love in a way that is healthy! Even if it means just cutting your portion sizes in half. Instead of eating an entire personal pizza, start by eating just 3/4 of it and over time, lessen your portion sizes until you're only eating a quarter of the personal pizza. If you lessen your portion sizes gradually, it gives both you and your body time to adjust to the changes. Your eye starts to view the portions differently and your stomach has a chance to shrink gradually so that you don't feel like you're starving or depriving yourself.

Does that mean I don't still get tempted by old habits? Hell no! Just yesterday, I was feeling a little PMSy and really wanted to go to Panda for orange chicken. I wanted it SO BAD I could almost taste it. But I waited it out and eventually the temptation passed and I forgot about it. I watched a motivational video on YouTube instead. And I've got left over birthday ice cream in my freezer that stares me in the face every time I open the freezer door for an ice tray. It whispers my name but I just shut the door, walk away, and go distract myself with something non-edible.

I know I have a long way to go. I've still got 40lbs before I reach my primary goal, 60lbs before I reach my secondary goal, and 90lbs before I reach my dream goal. And I'm realistic enough to know that plateaus happen. Injury and other health issues happen. Depression could rear it's ugly head again. There's any number of things that can happen to break me down to fail. I know that. I've been there, done that. But for the here and now I feel good. I feel happy. I feel confident that I can and WILL do this!