Cautiously Optimistic

So I reached the peak weight of 285 and stayed there for a while. I might have fluctuated by five pounds or so on either side but basically, I was 285lbs. The heaviest I've ever been in my life. Then one day I broke past that five pound barrier and stayed at 278 for a few weeks. Now I'm officially counting a 13 pound weight loss that feels actually consistent. It feels permanent, mostly because it wasn't sudden. Which means, I'm fairly certain it's not water weight. It's actual weight.

But I remain cautious because much like my previous weight gain, I have no real explanation for this stead weight loss. I still eat Panda at least once a week and other restaurants at least once a week. Last week I ate out five out of seven days and still lost three pounds. Granted, the rest of my meals are low cal (not on purpose, it just works out that way) but still.

The following is a typical day of eating:

Breakfast, 5:50 am, a fifth of a turkey smoke sausage rope, microwaved and dipped in honey mustard dressing.

Coffee/hot chocolate break, 9:30ish, either a land o'lakes hot chocolate with marshmallows or a tall/grande latte from Starbuck's.

Lunch, 12pm, either a couple of corndogs, tuna salad, leftover frozen pizza or a can of ravioli or some other quick processed food item from a can or a box. OR orange chicken.

Coke break, 2:30ish but not every day.

Supper, 6pmish, either a quarter or half of a frozen pizza, or baked Tyson breaded chicken tenders, or frozen buffalo wings or some roasted veggies. (sometimes I'll roast and eat an entire bunch of asparagus and not eat any meat.)

Dessert, 7pmish, a fun sized KitKat bar or a little Debbie's cordial cherry moon pie. Or a cookie, if I have any in the house. Sometimes nothing.

I drink between 26 and 58 ounces of water, daily. Sometimes my evening water gets subbed out for coffee or a wine cooler instead. Or a sweet tea, if I got one at break instead of a coke and have any left over. But always have 26 ounces of water with breakfast and USUALLY have 26 ounces with both lunch and supper.

I have cut back on the amount of coffee I drink at home. And when I say coffee, I mean coffee with three teaspoons each of sugar and half and half. I used to drink a mug each night but now it's usually just one or two nights a week. Usually when it's cold or when I'm particularly stressed. The act of making coffee soothes me. It's something about the routine of dealing with the coffee pot and then mixing the sugar and half and half in followed by the delicious reward.

But really, other than the fact that I stopped cooking from scratch and stopped regularly baking, I haven't changed all that much about my eating habits. I haven't cut back on the amount of times I eat out every week. I might eat smaller portions when I do but it's not a conscious decision...I just can't eat as much as I once could. I don't crave sugar as much anymore, either.

What's funny, is the fact that the whole "not cooking from scratch" thing was more a decision I made because I got tired of washing so many dang dishes instead of anything related to food!

However, I really don't believe that the switch in the types of food I eat at home is all that healthy. Well, other than roasted asparagus nights. It's all processed foods. So, weight loss nor not, it can't be all that healthy.

I do go back to the doctor in January, though, so I hope this weight loss trend keeps up till then and it shows a difference in my A1C and my cholesterol. I somehow doubt it'll have any affect on the cholesterol but maybe it will on the A1C. I've read that people at risk for diabetes can reverse that risk by losing just 15lbs. So, here's praying!

Either way, stepping on the scale to the tune of 272 this morning was quite a victory. A long awaited victory. If only I'd been able to see that kind of result back when I was able to walk regularly. Maybe I'd  have never developed this stupid foot problem and I'd still be walking and still be seeing results! Do you have any idea how bittersweetly frustrating it is to lose weight when you're not really trying after MONTHS of misery when you were trying with all your heart and never lost more than a pound?