Thursday

So I ended up doing really well yesterday. I stuck to all my eating plans. The only mistake, calorie/sugar-wise, was the 32oz glass of Coke I got after my meeting ended. I was getting sort of lightheaded and headachey and still have nearly an hour before lunch so I grabbed my 32 oz tumbler and snuck down to Einstein's (the bagel shop in the library) and bought a refill fountain drink. I don't know if it was the Coke or the Advil I took, but pretty soon my headache was gone and I felt better.

Probably should have gotten a fruit cup and water, though, but they cost $3 more than the fountain drink refill. :-/ Plus, it's easier to sneak in a drink than it is food.

Anyway, other than that, I did well. I had my sandwich and apple for lunch (with the rest of the Coke, instead of water), nothing at afternoon break, my salad and water for supper and my fun sized Kit-Kat. And okay, so I had TWO fun sized Kit-Kats in honor of Halloween. ;-)

But I did at least get my walk in after all. Not quite the mile I usually go for but it was drizzling rain with pretty hefty wind gusts so I cut it short by about a quarter mile. I feel good that I got out and did it regardless of the weather. And bonus, because I was in such a hurry to get out of the rain and wind, my pace was a bit quicker than usual. haha

Today is going to be a bit trickier. I did eat an apple for breakfast. The fake chocolate cheerios still suck. The real deal will be bought today unless I think of something better to eat for breakfast next week. But for today an apple was okay. The rest of the day is going to be a bit trickier, though. One of my friends wants to treat me to lunch today to discuss some upcoming committee stuff and probably rant about the upcoming event we're working on. Probably means a trip to Panda Express. Which I love because, hello! Orange chicken for the win! BUT, kinda throws me off my plan to avoid eating out today. :-/

I know, I should probably have just told her no thanks and we could discuss the committee stuff later. We see each other all the time. But to be honest, I just really didn't want to say no. If she hadn't asked I'd have stuck to my guns and eaten a sandwich before leaving today. But since she invited me? I want to go. I want to hang out with my friend and eat something I enjoy. So I'm not going to beat myself up about this. Next week? I will have to really tighten up on my resolve, though. I did well enough the first two weeks of October. I can do well again.

Hopefully the scale will be enough of an incentive to keep my head down and myself away from fast food/bad habits. I did my "official" weigh-in this morning and when I wrote it down on the chart, I realized that I have lost a pound a week through the month of October. A pound a week is the recommended pace for weight loss so...yay me!

I can't take ALL the credit for it, though. Because while walking a mile a day and eating lots of fruits and veggies is good, I've also had enough fails to know that this initial loss is more likely tied to the fact that my increased dosage of thyroid medication is leveling out my thyroid which helps with a small bit of weight loss. But. That's okay. That's good. That means the new dosage is working and not only am I losing a bit of weight, my body is happier with the stabilized thyroid. And hopefully once my thyroid is comfy again, it won't be so hard to lose weight from here on out. Or at least until I have to adjust the medication again.

That's one good thing from my doctor's visit last month was realizing that all the struggles to even lose so much as a pound had more to do with my defective thyroid needing a bit more help than it did me being an utter failure. And I also must realize that the high cholesterol might have been at least partially caused by the thyroid as well, since it's all tied together. So. Yeah. I'm feeling really good about things right now.

If I can just hang in there until it's no longer such a struggle and all the healthy things I'm trying to do become second nature I think I'll be okay. Establishing the new healthy habits is the hard part. The one thing I DON'T want to do is make out like this is a temporary thing. This is for my life. It's not a fad or a "once I lose a few pounds" kind of thing, it's a forever till I die, kinda thing. That's the main reason I have not tried any of these thirty day diet plans with phases and junk. Putting a time stamp on it marks it in your brain as a temporary change.Something you have to do to get to point B. But I don't want to stop at point B. Stopping at point B eventually gets you back to point A and you have to start over. And every time you have to start over, it gets harder and harder.

No. I don't want a time stamp. I want to wave at all the letters as I sail over them. No stopping. Just doing.

Another reason I haven't tried any of the popular thirty day diet plans (or "cleans/detox" as some are called) is because they are far to restrictive and unrealistic. No sugar ever? No thank you. Yes, I could stand to cut back on added sugars. And for the most part I have cut back. But. I also know that completely cutting out the things you truly enjoy is a setup for failure. You might could do it on that limited time but permanently? Doubtful. Or at least for me, anyway.

I tried giving up sugar once. It lasted exactly two days.

No. For me and this lifestyle change journey, it has to be about realistic changes that incorporate the things I love on a smaller scale. Don't reach for the candy every time I'm bored. Don't eat out three times a week. Don't get coffee just because everyone else is. Make that Coke a once a week thing instead of an everyday thing.

I find by doing that, limiting instead of excluding, I crave things less often and enjoy them MORE when I do indulge. Those things are exactly what they are meant to be--a treat!

I'll admit. I am always tempted to buy the latest thirty day diet/detox book and give it a go. I was tempted to try paleo there for half a minute. But I know me better than that. I know I'd read the book and end up depressed and in tears. And then I'd try it only to justify cheats later and feel bad about the cheats AND the justifications. I'm not the type of person who likes to sit on the sidelines while everyone else enjoys their food. Nor do I want to be the person going through the buffet line at a church or family gathering saying, "There's nothing here I can eat," and have everyone rolling their eyes or worse--making anyone feel bad. My body and food choices are MY problems. Not anyone else's.

Anyway. That's enough prattling on about that. I'm playing this weekend by ear. I'll probably go ahead and grab something after work tomorrow. I'm praying I can make do with a jr. burger or something like that. I'm also realistic enough to know that I might give in and get the bacon cheeseburger. Or the crispy chicken sandwich. And fries. Lawes yes, chil'. Gimme some fries.

But I'll do my best to remember that what I eat does matter and make better choices. Not just to lose weight, but to bring my body back to health.