Tuesday and other things.

So I've lost track of what day I'm on and since this will be every day for the rest of my life, it was starting to feel too much like dismally marking off days in captivity or something. haha

Anyway. So today. Hmmmm...

Started off with about five or six coctail smokies instead of cheerios for breakfast because some days I feel like if I eat one more stinkin' cheerio I'm going to throw up. Today was one of those days. I had about five or six cocktail smokies left from the party so I drizzled a little bbq sauce on 'em and called 'em breakfast.

Nothing for break today.

Then lunch. *sigh* I went to McDonald's with a couple of friends and ate a McRib. I'm not really a McRib fan so eating one wasn't exactly something I was excited about but my friends like them. And I hadn't seen one of my friends in probably about a year so it was more about the visit than the food. The food just happened to be a 500 calorie McRib and Lord only knows how many calories of fries and Coke. But I won't eat anything else until supper and supper will either be a salad or a cup of mostly meatless chili. Depends on if the chili is thawed or how my tummy feels when I get home.

I ate a big salad last night and it was delicious. Pan roasted brussel's sprouts and carmalized onions on a bed of romain and grated carrot. Two tablespoons of buttermilk ranch dressing. Yum and yum. And I finished off the last four tiny chocolate chip cookies so that's over.

I will get my mile in this afternoon so that might work a little to offset the McRib. And I plan on doing my everlovin' best to not eat out anymore for the next little while.

My head keeps revealing all sorts of opportunities when I'll just HAVE to eat out. Like Friday afternoon I have to leave work early because I have to work a few hours on Saturday. Well, I get off work at 12:30 so brain says, "You can go get some egg rolls from that place you like." But no. I can bring and eat my sandwich before I leave work. Saturday I get off work at 1pm and brain is all, you can't bring your sandwich on a Saturday. You can go out  and use that Wendy's coupon you've got for a Baconator.

My brain just LOVES to help me out.

But no, I can go straight home after work Saturday so I can wait until I get home and eat. Or I can choose something slightly  healthier like a Subway sandwich if I'm just too hungry to wait. It's a 45 minute drive home, so I kinda see my brain's point on the Saturday sitch. But I can satisfy basic hunger with something far healthier than a baconator from Wendy's.

Anyway, the point is, I'm obviously still struggling with what my old self wants me to eat and what I know I shouldn't be eating. It's not easy turning off thirty-four years of bad habits and unhealthy relationships with food. It's not easy to say no to friends on special occasions. There's no excuse, but it's not as easy as merely saying no. Each breath brings with it an opportunity to fail. An opportunity to give in to weakness. And just telling yourself you need to change for your health isn't always enough to push you through the multitude of temptations and sabotages.

It's one day, one breath and one choice at a time.