How It's Going

It's kinda going "meh" right now. Lotsa temptations. Sugar cravings. Not to mention what all the current debates over chicken sandwiches are doing to my fast food cravings. No, I haven't caved and gotten a Popeye's chicken sandwich. Partially because willpower, but mostly because I don't have the patience to wait in line for 45 minutes for something that will probably be sold out by the time I get there. I may try it once all the fuss dies down. haha

I did, however, cave last night and stopped by chick-fil-a for a reliably delicious and never sold out chicken sandwich. And mac'n'cheese. It was worth the guilt, trust me.

For the most part, though, I'm doing okay. Eating sensibly 80% of the time and not obsessing over food or weight. I did finally drop the bloat that had the scale so angry at me so that's an excellent feeling--both physically and mentally! My pants don't feel so murder-y anymore! haha

Back to fast food cravings, though, I just looked up the new Impossible (vegetarian) Whopper at Burger King, thinking I might treat myself to that soon but y'all...That thing has only 30 calories less than a regular beef whopper! And more carbs because it's potato based! Ugh. The ways in which the fast food industry try to trick us is insane. And how addicted to it I am is equally insane. I'm thinking about McNuggets even as I type and I don't even really LIKE McDonald's anymore.

I've been diving back into healthy research the past couple of days and y'all...I'm just so confused and frustrated. Am I getting enough calories? Did I plateau because I cut too far back for a long time? But then, I remember all my "treat-yo-self" moments and think that can't possibly be true, right? I don't know anything anymore. I know I need to feed this body and I know I need to give it good, healthy food. I just wish I knew for sure 100% how to do that in the right way.

I also wish I liked veggies more.

I've been sucked down a YouTube rabbit hole in recent weeks and one of the vloggers I've been binging is a health nut in Los Angeles. She's always sauteeing veggies and mixing them with quinoa or blending up a spinach and banana protein smoothy and I think in my head that that all looks so amazing and I need to eat like that. Except, I hate quinoa. I tried it a couple of years ago and YUCK. Not for me. And the only veggies I really like sautéed are peppers and onions. Oh, and mushrooms. Are mushrooms a veggie, btw? I've had a bag of stir-fry in my freezer for over a month and can't bring myself to cook and eat it because it makes me sad. And I actually do like stir-fry, usually so I don't know why the thought of eating this one makes me sad.

Another vlogger I've been gently stalking lost 60lbs but now routinely eats Cadbury chocolate and Reese's cups. And PASTA. She eats pasta almost every night. So of course I want chocolate and I DID cave and buy a Cadbury bar the other day. I've been (mostly) slowly chipping away at it. She also eats a lot of salmon and steamed veggies, though, so she's probably the most relatable and balanced youtuber I've seen.

Anyway, I'm also writing down what I eat--not tracking calories or carbs, just keeping track of what I eat each day so I can go back sometime and see if I can pinpoint problem areas. I'm mindful of calories and carbs, but not tracking or obsessing over them.

Anyway, that's where I'm at right now. Tomorrow is WBF's birthday so we are going to celebrate with lattes, Cracker Barrell, cocktails, and probably some kind of dessert at some point. I will still write it down but I refuse to feel guilty about it. I'll save the guilt for the McNuggets I"m afraid I'm going to cave in and get tonight. *sigh*