The good, the not-so-bad, and the Godly

Just checking in to say that I have no good news and no bad news. The scale is fighting it out with Mother Nature while I continue on course with healthy balanced eating, even resisting the temptation of cake, donuts, and a latte--and that's just today!

When I needed to stress bake Sunday afternoon (Sunday was hella stressful) I wisely chose a small batch recipe for chocolate chip peanut butter cookies and then cut that recipe in half so that I only had four cookies. I ate two Sunday (super small, four ingredient cookies) and two yesterday (because another hella stress day) and still have not touched the Snickers bar in my cabinet. I consider that a total win for team Healthy Jana!

Anyway, I'm ignoring that wretched scale, though, and letting my body tell me what it feels like. The fact that the sized 18 jeans that I bought at Christmas but were too tight to wear are now comfortable enough to wear grocery shopping Saturday speaks way louder than some dumb scale.

I'm trying to be okay with where my body is at. I want to be okay with myself even if I never lose another stinkin' pound. I never thought I'd come this far, and as long as I feel healthy and my pre-diabetes stays away, I will just have to be okay with myself. Love myself enough to keep eating a healthy balance of food choices, keep myself active for the sake of being active and concentrate on maintaining. For my mental and emotional health, I need to figure out how to be okay with me and appreciate the accomplishments I've made for the victory that they are.

I'm not giving up. I believe that there are more pounds to be lost...that more pounds will be lost. But if that doesn't happen until next year, I need to be okay with that. Revel in the here and now and not be so caught up in where I want to go.

God has taught me a powerful lesson this weekend...His plans, though often don't make sense at the time and go totally rogue from my own plans, are more powerful and more important than my own. And He's teaching me about waiting in a very literal sense. (Something that has nothing to do with weight, btw.) The here and now, in all aspects of my life, I'm waiting to see what GOD can do. And someday, maybe I'll be able to look back and see all the wonderful ways this season of my life was such a blessing.