Despite all the baking/cooking/candy making/splurging I did over the past 2.5 weeks, I managed to stay on track. I didn't get much/any walking in because I live in the country on a dirt/gravel road and it's hunting season, but I did work out with my dumbbells several days and drank plenty of water. In doing so, I've managed to stay within the usual three pound fluctuation that I consider normal. Meaning, I didn't LOSE anything, but I didn't GAIN anything, either. So I consider it a win.
I also consider it a win that I still have a tin of treats/truffles in my fridge that I've only eaten from maybe three or four times in that two weeks, I still have muddy buddies left even AFTER I sent 75% of them home with my sister after Christmas. AND I've had 3/4 of a small cheesecake in my fridge since Saturday that I've only eaten three tiny slices off of.
It may not SOUND like much of a win, but trust me. It is. I'd have normally ended up making two batches of muddy buddies because I'd have finished off the first batch within a couple of days. And the treats and cheesecake? Totally would have normally been gone within a couple of days, as well.
I did splurge a few times on a latte or two prior to leaving work for the break. But now that Christmas is over and the coffee socials and brunches are over, I am back to drinking strictly drip coffee. Not even really tempted to drink lattes anymore.
I did eat out a few times--lunch with my friends the Thursday prior to Christmas, I ate steak skewers with onion rings (with water), my middle sister and her husband treated me to lunch the Sunday before Christmas and I ate a salad, smoked brisket, and white cheddar mac and cheese (with water), my parents treated me to breakfast at Huddle House (like Waffle House but we like it better) and I had a meat trio omelet and hash browns (with coffee).
I also went to Wendy's the Friday before New Year's Day and got the maple bacon chicken sandwich and a small salad (with water). I don't know how many carbs are in that sandwich but it was worth every bite. That thing is delicious. But now that I've tried it, the craving is gone and I can move on with my life.
Christmas day I ate a modest plate of food. There were more carbs on the plate than I should have eaten--dressing, bread, broccoli rice casserole, and corn salad--and I did drink some of Granny's famous sweet tea. But that was pretty much all I ate that day. I had a small breakfast and no supper.
This past Saturday, I ate quite a bit of good stuff at the second family Christmas gathering...lots of carbs and bacon wrapped/stuffed/topped things. Cookies. Cheesecake. I admit I went a little nuts.
But the rest of the two weeks I ate peanut butter and banana toast, salads, roasted veggies, turkey smoked sausage, eggs (albeit with cheese and a bit of sausage), sweet potatoes--and usually just two meals a day--Breakfast and lunch. I didn't eat supper all that often because I just wasn't hungry.
I got a LOT of rest, too. Probably too much, but I'd started to feel a little run down and undone prior to my break/vacation so I refused to feel too badly for taking the rest that I needed. I did clean the house a bit, kept up with laundry, did some Christmas crafts, and Christmas chores like wrapping gifts and the like. I baked Christmas cookies and then never decorated them and they remain uneaten/untouched in a plastic container. I suppose I'll toss them in the trash tomorrow since it's pick-up day. I may toss whatever candy/muddy buddies/cheesecake is left, too. Although, I can give the cheesecake away or put it in the freezer.
My biggest regret was the half priced bag of cherry cordial Kisses I bought after Christmas. I haven't eaten that many of them because after I brought them home and ate four immediately, I hid them from myself--out of site, out of mind. And I've only eaten two since then. I say they're my biggest regret because they were a total impulse purchase. I saw them and instinctually put them in my buggy and I should never have given into that temptation. There was no rationalization, no thought put into the purchase, and no real purpose for them. Everything else I've purchased or consumed over the past several months I had some justification for--it was a social thing, or it was part of a fundraiser, or I was making it/buying it for someone else or with someone else. But the Kisses...those were bought out of habit. And that's what frustrates me.
Anyway, all that to say: My relationship with food is a million times better than it was this time last year, but it still has a long way to go. I--and my food addictions/habits--have a lot of work to do. I'm not going to beat myself up over it because as I've mentioned before--regaining/reclaiming my health is a life long marathon, not a short term sprint. And for every failure there is a lesson. For every victory, there is a celebration. And just like everyone else, I am a work in progress.
Here's to 2019 being filled with more victories than failures, and more joy than frustration!
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