Another Form of Body Shaming?

I know I've talked about this here before and on my main blog...people constantly commenting on my weight loss and how uncomfortable/annoying it has become.

Today, though...today reached a new low. I know they meant well...at least I hope they did...

For the time being, I'm on a semi-important committee at work that participates in a larger committee from across campus. Unlike everyone else on this committee, I am not faculty. I am staff. If you've ever worked on a university campus, you know that it's somewhat a big deal for staff to be on a committee with faculty. It's nothing special that I've done to earn this, it's just part of a library initiative to involve library staff in an administrative capacity. I was elected by the other staff, so I'm not humble bragging, just stating facts. Anyway, to rub professional elbows with faculty is kind of a big deal to me. I take it seriously and do the best I can not to let my "just a staff" warts show in these meetings.

So today, I walked into the conference room for a lunch meeting with this committee. The "big boss" and some of the lesser bosses and faculty from other colleges on campus were already gathering. There was a buffet line set up with a baked potato bar and a salad station. As I walked in, the "big boss" says to me, "I was just bragging on you." Imagine me getting a swelled head, thinking I'd gotten some notice on some work I'd done or something so I reply, "Oh?" She smiles and says, "Yes, about how good  you look since you've lost so much weight."

I mean, it's not a terrible comment but, you know. Really? Seventeen and a half years at this job and THAT'S what she finally brags on me about? Not the progress I've made on this big project I've got. Not my work as the Exhibit chair, or the work I've done as a liaison for my department. No. She's bragging about my weight.

Oh, but that's not all. So the "big boss" and LM, a colleague who was manning the food table start talking about me, my weight loss, and eating habits and LM points out that "See? She's just bypassing the baked potatoes!" like it was some proof that I'm actually doing this. Yes, I bypassed the potato and just made a salad. And while I'm prepping my salad, LM announces to the whole room of faculty...some of whom I don't even really know..."She's lost 40 pounds!"

I mean, hello, hole? Can you come swallow me up?

And then she comments about the dressing as I'm putting it on my salad and I'm thinking, she's actually watching how much I put on there! So needless to say, I bypass the large toffee chip cookie that was calling my name and instead answered the questions that were suddenly being peppered at me. "How did you do it? Do you exercise? I get hungry when I exercise; does walking a lot keep you from getting hungry?"

I wanted to be like, "Oh, I'm sorry. I thought I was attending a super important university committee meeting. I didn't realize this was weight watchers."

*sigh*

I know, it's a good problem to have but I'd REALLY like to move on from this stage. I mean, at some point I know, if by the Grace of God I manage to lose the other 40 pounds I want to/need to lose, I'm going to start getting those, "You need to eat a cheeseburger. You're getting too skinny," comments. At which point I cannot guarantee that there won't be violence.

I've heard these comments directed to others who've lost significant weight so I know it's coming. I remember when my mom lost 80lbs after her diabetes diagnosis, she was accused of becoming anorexic by a handful of people. 

But how do you politely tell your big boss and colleagues that you'd really appreciate a little less commentary on your body and your eating habits? 

And also, is this a form of body shaming? I mean, it sounds like a compliment and they probably think they're doing me a kindness by noticing and taking such a personal interest in my health, but at some point it just doesn't feel like a compliment anymore. I feel self-conscious. And as I mentioned on my main blog, it really drives home the idea that a person's worth IS INDEED tied to their weight.

I wish I had the answers or had some clue how to deal with this because this stuff today...that was a real low point for me. It was embarrassing. Painfully, so. I was aiming to put out a professional persona, and was reduced to a physical mass. And of course, it was a terrible confirmation that if I do gain any of the weight back, they WILL be talking about me.

Does anybody else ever talk about this depressing side of losing weight?

PS--On my way out, after the meeting ended, I snuck out with the big toffee chip cookie that had been calling my name and I ate it on the way back to my desk. I mean, that's the main reason I skipped the potato, so I could feel okay about eating the cookie. It's called balance! ;-)