So, after my last post, I perused the archives of this blog. And you know what I found? First, I discovered that I've "been at this" a lot longer than I realized. Meaning, I forgot how old this blog is. But the biggest thing realized is...I have been giving the same song and dance for all those years.
"Oh, I'm determined to lose weight. But then I ate my weight in orange chicken. I needed a candy bar. and my friends are such enablers. And this is so haaaaaard. And I just don't understand why I can't lose weight. But I'm determined. Oh look! Cheesecake!"
And on, and on, and ON in that same vein, constantly banging my head against the wall never ONCE realizing that I AM MY OWN WORST ENEMY.
I can blame my friends. I can point fingers at being hungry. I can even sob about being depressed. I can make any damn excuse or "reason" I want but the hard truth is...I just haven't ever really tried. I want it, then I make excuses.
I'd boldly state that that ends now but I know me well enough after reading all those hideous posts to know that I'm likely to slide back into that. I did it last week! And my previous post is there among all the others in the same banging my head against a wall style. I wouldn't be surprised if past me has posted something like this very post before!
Sigh
With that in mind, I am firmly back on the wagon this week. I have not caved and eaten out. I turned down an invite to lunch yesterday. I haven't had any Panda, any lattes, or even any chocolate! I have eaten a bite of birthday cake, here and there but I've kept it at small bites and kept it within the parameters of diabetes management...meaning timing it right, drinking water with it, and keeping my body moving.
I haven't gotten 10,000 steps in at all this week, but I've gotten close a couple of times. And I've been doing light stretches and joint friendly "exercises" off and on all week during commercials, or while I'm waiting on my coffee to brew, or waiting for my supper to bake, or whatever. I've also drank a ton of water and eaten lots of protein and veggies.
I had one spell of hypoglycemia Monday after lunch because I only at a small chicken breast and some carrot sticks with hummus. At least, WebMD diagnosed my symptoms as hypoglycemia (low blood sugar). I felt really dizzy and light headed and started getting a little confused. I was working on shelving books and doing a lot of bending over and such so that may have contributed to the dizziness. I probably should have rested a minute after lunch. So to combat that, I sucked on a sucker (hard candy is recommended for low blood glucose) and after a little while, I felt better. I wasn't dizzy anymore but I still felt kind of drained.
I felt great Tuesday and Wednesday but then yesterday I had what I call, mild anxiety attacks off and on all day. I got dizzy, my heart started racing in my chest, and I felt like I might just crumple to the floor. I have those episodes every so often when I'm under a lot of stress and these are stressful times we're living in in the world right now. Between the insanity on the news and some family things going on, I've just been a hot mess of emotions and my body likes to react in the scariest way.
But! I haven't used the stress as an excuse to eat outside the guidelines of prediabetes living so I'm claiming that as a win. Instead, I've been doing a lot of deep breathing and the small exercises help, too. They're calming and they force me to concentrate on something other than the crap swirling around in my head. It think its also helped that I have spent less time with my friends this week. WBF has been busy with other things this week so I haven't seen her much and I've managed to avoid most everyone else.
And now that I've made a rundown of everything else, here's the big news!
I stepped on the scale this morning and the number was a jaw dropping 255.2--that's another two pounds down. Of course, I am pretty sure that it's water weight (I drank a cup of tea last night and tea tends to act as a diuretic...TMI?) and the scale will be ping back to 257 tomorrow but it was still a major mood booster to see a lower number on the scale...a number I haven't seen in about five years or more. And this time, instead of celebrating by eating something I shouldn't--as has been my habit all my life--I'm going to treat myself to an extra glass of water today and add a little dance of joy to my light exercises when I get home tonight.
No comments:
Post a Comment