So Far NO GOOD

I don't know what the answer is. I really don't. But I've got to figure out something because this body of mine is just not gonna work for me the way it is. I do the best I can to be "good" and fail. I gain weight without even trying and every time I try to do something good for myself, like walking, my feet, hips, knees, etc. rebel.

And it's SO FRUSTRATING. I'm not one of those fat girls who get and stay fat because they go through the drive-thru five days a week and eat whole pizzas at a time. I don't drink Coke every day (anymore) and I am not completely sedentary. I move. I dance. I walk when I can. I am conscious of everything I eat and while, yes, I do go out to eat more often than I should, it's not an every day thing and I don't eat five portions at every turn. If I go to McD's I get A burger, not five. Even when I go to Panda Express (once a week) I try to get the bowl instead of the plate...or at least get the less fatty stuff.

I don't binge. I don't eat constantly. I do eat chocolate but not a lot and not all day long. I don't buy potato chips and eat them by the bags full. I don't even buy them at all unless I have a recipe I need them for. I've had a half gallon of ice cream in my freezer for three weeks and haven't scarfed it all down, for Pete's sake.

I feel as though I eat like a regular person. Like an average, healthy person. So when I try to "diet" I feel like I'm starving to death. Or I feel unfairly deprived. And I know it's okay to be a little hungry but I'm talking, hands shaking and light headed hungry.

It's just all so frustrating. Nothing I do seems to help me LOSE weight but all I hafta do is blink to GAIN weight.

I realize my age and hypothyroidism have a lot to do with it but it just seems so UNFAIR when I know people my age who just seem to lose weight so much more easily than I do.

I've got to stop whining about it and just figure something out, though, because this is getting ridiculous and dangerously unhealthy. My pants aren't fitting well anymore and I absolutely LOATHE looking at photos of myself. My mom took photos of my sisters and me for Easter and even though we are all laughing and clearing having a fun time, the only thing I really see in the photos is how I am as big as both of them put together!

What I really need is a whole life overhaul. If anyone can think of a way to do that, y'all let me know, m'kay?