Days 15 & 16

I bombed  yesterday with a box of peanut butter bears. Bombed as in, I ate every dang peanut butter bear in the box. Fail whale.

I'd ordered the candy from my friend's daughter for a school fundraiser several weeks before I went to the doctor and found out I'm living in cholesterol city with a heart attack in my future. I probably still would have bought candy if I'd known because it's for a good cause but, still. So the candy came yesterday and I opened the box intending to only eat one piece and the next thing I knew half the box was empty. I managed to make it home with the other half of the box but about an hour after supper, the candy was gone.

As for meals yesterday I did okay but not great. Okay in the sense that the portions were good but not great in the sense that the only veggies I ate were the onion/green pepper mix in the sloppy joes. If I'd eating it for just lunch or just supper I'd have been okay, I think. But having it for lunch AND supper? My body revolted and I tasted sloppy joes/turkey burger all night long. Which is one half of the reason I think I ended up finishing off that box of candy. I was desperate to taste something besides sloppy joes. The other half is because I'm weak. *sigh*

I also didn't walk yesterday because I was too busy at work to make time and too tired when I got home. Excuses, excuses. I know.

So today I was going to do better. And then...

One of the departments in the building had a brunch party and left the leftovers in the lounge. I ate approximately 8 donut holes and two servings of a breakfast casserole. THEN. Friend IM'd me wanting to go out to lunch for Panda Express and, well, I was planning on going next week anyway so I said, "Why not?"

Why not indeed. I'm a little dizzy and bloated. That's why not. I should have said no. I should have sent her off with our other friend and just eating what I brought for lunch. But since what I brought for lunch was the last of the sloppy joes I'm pretty sure I'd have been miserable either way.

*groan* So. Two days of fail whaling. I do plan on walking this afternoon even if it means ignoring my IM and texts. Even if it means grabbing my shoes and hiding out if I hear my new boss coming. I need to do it to offset the past two days, yes. But I also need to do it so that I don't lose momentum.

Because you see, friends, this is my pattern. I do well for a couple of weeks and then I explode into one bad choice after another until I get frustrated with my lack of progress and then I quit. But I can't quit this time. My health--and quite possibly my life--depends on it.

So. Walk this afternoon. Back to good choices tomorrow.